After a Relationship: the healing process

Today, at the exact 6-month anniversary point of our initial getting-together night, (from the Taurus Full Moon to the now Scorpio Full Moon), I 

was cleaning through some papers, and I found my own journal notes ... from back on the third day of that  relationship, when it was in its infancy. And it was SO full of promise and love...

Back when "we" were freshly together in an intimate way- and totally soaked in the excitement of new love. 

Yet, there were already signs of rough spots, of upcoming bumps-in-the-road. Did I heed them?

No. 

I'm a huge romantic, and a big risk-taker. So I ignored what I noticed and wrote about in my journal, even on only our third night together.. I went for it, even with these misgivings, and eventually moved in with him. 

Now, today, it's over - the whole relationship is over. He is gone from my life, and I, from his. But perhaps this sort of looking back, of reflecting, will deliver unto me some sort of new-found wisdom and maturity...

Here, below, is what I wrote in my journal, that third night that we were together. My supposed Twin Flame and I.

He was already asleep, when I took a seat out on the patio to write down these thoughts. I was so blown away by the deep love that was obviously occurring between us, that I physically needed to take a moment for myself, and go sit down somewhere else, and capture this feeling.

How portending my words would prove to be, later on, of an imminent breakup. And so now, as I write this, we are done. The relationship is no more.

But of course I didn't know this at the time; I only felt the smallest rumblings of some vague malaise, some quiet conflict that would eventually come between us.

I wrote:

"It's strange to me, how there can be such a deep, easy, attractive connection between two people- yet at the same time, be so much intense triggering (for lack of a better word)- so many rough spots. Why couldn't it just be all sweetness and light?"

We didn't end up making it, despite our intensely loving beginnings. Perhaps we didn't have the tools; perhaps we didn't have the right cosmic timing; perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

But I could have *sworn* that this was *it*. That this was THE ONE. The one you long for, yet won't admit you are longing for. The one you keep, for "the next 80 years" [his words], when your intentions are great and your hearts seem so in alignment. You're laughing, you're playing, you're delighting in the freshness and spontaneity and sudden wonderfulness of This New Person who has suddenly shown up in your Life. Ah! The perfect fit.

But we didn't make it. 

Maybe you will? I hope so!